anon97715 says,

I have had my first bestfriend just recently. I trusted her with my secrets and insecurities, and she trusted me. We got really close to the point where I couldn't see myself in the future without her. She was really sweet and caring and to save you the trouble, all that I could've ever wanted in a bestfriend. I had thought nothing was going to mess this up. There was one problem that december though, I started liking her. I was afraid I'd lose her because of awkwardness. that wasn't the only problem though. Being her bestfriend, she'd tell me who she liked too. I tend to be on the pessimistic side so you can only imagine what I went through. She'd talk about him everyday. He's hot, funny, talented.. stuff like that; and It's true. I wanted to give up on liking her but nobody understands me like she does. I kinda fell for her.
I'd cry some nights when I couldn't take it. I had nobody to talk to. I know it isn't her fault though. It was mine for choosing to go through it. We sort of grew apart a few months ago. We tried to fix it and she asked that we not hide anything from each other anymore. I couldn't help it, she could tell i was hiding something. so I told her. That probably had to be the most selfish thing I've ever done in my life.
what if i make it awkward for her to like the guy? To tell you the truth, they look good together. they have a lot of similarities. I just wish they had ended up together you know? so that she'd be happy and not worry about me. Because I think she deserves to be happy and I'm only weighing her down. this has been on my mind for months now ranting on a random website like this should give me peace. what do you guys think about my situation? I just need to hear from random people.
by the way, she doesn't feel awkward talking or being near me. we're still bestfriends I'm happy about that. :)

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